Gifted.

Aesthetics only.

Eons ago, there was quote I read in a newspaper article that remained etched in my memory.
It went something like this..

"Sometimes there would be a rush of noisy visitors and the silence of the monastery would be shattered. This would upset the disciples; not the Master, who seemed just as content with the noise as with the silence. To his protesting disciples he said one day, "Silence is not the absence of sound, but the absence of self".

Something similar ran through my mind last Friday while I was waiting for my train back to Bangalore, from Chennai. Surprisingly, I reached the station rather early and quickly to my dismay it started raining. Running for cover I quickly scanned the train listings and walked towards the designated platform. It was the usual huge crowd, noise and the smell of fish. I looked at my watch and realised that I was one and a half hour early! "Lord have mercy on my legs" was my first thought.

I walked along the platform, to get some coffee and while I was at it, I noticed this group of ten or twelve folks, probably in their mid 40s. There were folks from all walks of life and from different parts of India. They all seemed well to-do and everyone had a glowing smile on their face. They seemed of the chirpy,  happy-go-lucky sort, having a great and the most animated conversation ever. They were all a group of mute folk and one of them  was gifted with something better than sight. (I hate the term 'mute', but for the lack of a better word, kindly bear with me.). I walked a little for a closer look to see Sign language in practise, and immediately I was blown away and stood dumbfounded in awe.
Watching hands effortlessly working in an artistic precision, and faces expressing the emotions like never before, was like looking at magic woven by the Human spirit, in action.

I couldn't understand a bit of their conversation, all I could read was their emotions. I saw joy, shock, gossip, horsing around, and playful joking. The whole aura around that group was captivating, with ZERO sound, yet with a flowing conversation. I directed my focus towards the tall, mute and visually challenged (again...sorry!) person. He was a significant part of the conversation too! Whenever someone had to speak to him, they'd grab his hands and make signs, which he could effortlessly interpret and reply to, using the same means. Whats more, he could hold a conversation with two people, simultaneously! How many of us "Gifted" people can do that? I sure as hell can't.
One might think that's where the amazement ended, and couldn't be more wrong. Another thing that really got my mind blown with awe was when the folks could seamlessly join a private conversation going on between a few people. They seemed to instantly know what the others were talking about with their signs, and joined their conversation, as if they were there all along! Again, how many of us "Gifted" lot can do that ? We'd make a fool of ourselves, asking stupid questions about what people were talking about.

I spent a good hour just looking at them, till I noticed a lady, from the group looking at me with inquisitive eyes, probably asking.."What are you looking at, Mister?!". By then a small discreet crowd had gathered around them, all held in awe. I walked a little back, so as to not seem rude to the group, and casually strolled  around coming back, time to time just to feel what a conversation without the presence of sound, felt like.
To be honest, I felt a tad privileged and humbled, to be a witness to this sight. To see how flexible and generous Life can be, to give one the option to walk around a mountain, if one can't climb it, and with..

ABSOLUTELY NO SOUND!!!!!!!

Breathe Easy. \/
-Askios

High Tides: Ethereal

The real ethereal..

Presence of a ghost.

A silent host..

A chill wind blown down a soul.

A spectral presence,

down the funeral home.

Surreal wish, but of nothing, mere ethereal.

A sweet dagger thrusted inside,

the gentle hands of a seductress, heavenly reside

A wish of lust and yet nothing, 

but of mere ethereal....

Figures of absence,
and the strength of steel.
First, wisps of real,
then sullen ethereal.
Heathen presence of the pasts conceal,
a morsel of truth,  the rest ethereal.

Into the light, I humbly stand,
with a bow of the head, a wish in my hand.
A wish, to once and forever reveal..
Truth is throughout unreal,
all is but One....Ethereal.

-Askios

P.S.: Very fond of that word 'ethereal'. Again, dunno when I wrote this. Got high, that word came to mind and everything else was .....ETHEREAL.

High Tides: Trip through a mirchi

('Mirchi' is the hindi word for 'Chillies/Pepper'.)

A trip through a mirchi,

a bite she does,

an invisible buzz.

Secretly,

a trip through a mirchi.

A pain in bliss,

a vengeful hiss.

A sweet and sour cut,

she burns my effigy.

A high moon tide,

an infernal ride,
her spectral synergy,

a trip through a mirchi.

A devilrous curse,

a poisoned hearse,

ancient poetic verse,

a psalmic energy,

my trip through a mirchi.

Soul searing lava,

my life through java.

Requisite Fire,

that abridged much higher,

you stroll my syllable 'E'

my trip through a mirchi.

As you now fade,

to an immense serenade,

I bind my devilry,

it's a trip through a mirchi,

a fine trip through a mirchi.

A poisonous form,

in the physical form of a mercurial banshee,

of a diligent scythe,

an ominous  vibe,

eternal riff yet a subliminal rife,

a trip through a mirchi.

-Askios

P.S.:Dunno when I wrote this. I was high and decided to chow down on a chilly/pepper and that somehow amplified the trip..thus the name.

Yaaaay!

EpicRotis is more than a year old! Woohoo! Never thought it'd last this long! Thanks to each and every one of the 3130 viewers! THE EBB AND FLOW CONTINUES!!!!!

P.S: As some of you may have noticed, I'm not very good at maintaining 'series' of topics, like how the "How to: xx" series ended up. BUT BUT BUTT....I'm anyway gonna start a new series called "High tides", which is a collection of random words I managed to string together when I was outttt. Hope, at the least, you folks don't find it to be a waste of your time, because although some part of it is below par and embarrassing, those are words that my brain could string together when it was not exactly in control of itself, and I'd like to put that across nonetheless.

CHEERS!

Lights!!!!!

Happy DIWALI folks!!!!!!!

Beyond the bounds of adjectives.

One of the two languages from which almost every other language was born, and with its origins dating before 1500 BCE the only ancient language that is alive and spoken in today's time.

If you haven't had your experience with Sanskrit, you haven't truly found your roots and haven't been exposed to the pinnacle of ecstasy that any sound could possibly deliver to your ears. To be honest, I find this post extremely hard to write because, I feel like I've been tied to a leash of words that can't possibly begin to explain the magnitude of greatness this Language has. It's incomparable, infinite and beyond perception.

 Now, just to clarify, I'm no Sanskrit scholar. I just barely manage to understand a few words of  the language itself. Having said that I must also state the fact that, being a relatively traditional Hindu, I have always been surrounded by Sanskrit, be it my morning-just before rushing to office- half  baked prayers, music or the remnants of my memory of a - less than basic Sanskrit education in my early years of schooling.

But that's the point! Even to an ignorant person, the beauty of Sanskrit is clearly visible.

Sanskrit to me, is the thread that weaves the fabric of the whole universe. It's immensely powerful. For example, the correct pronunciation of a single sound "ॐ" or AUM, can invoke Universal peace inside your mind. Not only that, ॐ is described in ancient scriptures as the First Sound, from which all Reality emerged. No other language could ever have such power, and it doesn't stop there. To start describing the depth and essence of Aum accurately, is way past my intellect so I will not harbor any pretensions. But what I can do is give you a similar example. Take the picture above for instance..(pronounced 'tat-tvam-asi') it means
 "the Self- in its original, pure, primordial state - is wholly or partially identifiable or identical with the Ultimate reality that is the basis and origin of all phenomena."
The faintest resemblance to the meaning conveyed by that one word in Sanskrit is that quote by William Blake that goes like:

"If the doors of perception were cleansed every thing would appear to man as it is, Infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thro' narrow chinks of his cavern."

 Now, let me ask you this..could the above sentence be reduced to ONE word, that would still retain the essence? I'd sure love to see that.

To make myself absolutely clear, I'm not waging a crusade against other lingua franca. Each has a value of its own, and is unique in its own particular way. But when it comes down to the bare bones of truth, there is only one absolute, Sanskrit.

I've run out of  whatever mockery of creative juice I had, to continue this post. As I said before I feel like I've been tied to a very short leash of  words to describe this exalted Language. Hence, I'm just going to embrace..

शांति. \/

-Askios

I relinquish. My eyes are my enemy.

Prologue

" I was taking notes at a fantastic rock-n-roll concert going on in my head "

- Morrison

(telling his future band mate that he had been writing songs) 

Six to seven years ago, I asked the most important and revered person of my life an out of the blue question. I asked him, why Gods were always depicted with half open eyes.

He smiled an omniscient smile and said that it was a very good question, but didn't answer. That question remained etched in my mind and a few years later I asked him the same question again. He asked me to sit in front of him and to listen carefully. He said, that when Gods meditate, they keep their mind impervious to all distractions and for this reason they choose to keep their eyes half closed. I asked the next obvious question that, what stopped them from closing their eyes completely, to which he smiled again and jokingly asked, "what if  they fell asleep?", but soon with a serious tone said that the reason why they left their eyes half open was that the Gods need to keep a keen vigil upon the universe and they don't risk taking their eyes off it. It all instantaneously made sense to me and every moment of that conversation got etched in my mind.

Circa: yesterday-2012

The day began in a familiar manner, with me suppressing my incomplete sleep due to the midnight travel from Bangalore to Chennai, to get ready for office at 9 a.m. and subsequently returned a little tired, but happy nonetheless at 8p.m. My new room mate came in shortly after and told that his birthday had just passed by last week and that there was a major party in our flat, fueled by beer and joints, and that I missed out a lot as I was out of station. Curious about the 'joints' part, I wished him a belated birthday and inquired how he managed to get them and not to my surprise, he said that one of our flatmates had access.

The faintest trace of an age old wish resurfaced in my mind. The wish to try out Marijuana and see what all the fuss was about. I was absolutely sure of myself that I could just stave off my high in a blink, because I had an impermeable control of my head, and I wanted to test my will. So, off I went to cajole my flat mate, whom I had never spoken to, along with my roomie to let me in on his stash. The guy agreed and made me, what my roommate called, a 'small joint'. I was impressed by the guy's skill, the joint had the aesthetics of a piece of art. He passed the final 'piece' along with a lighter. My roomie asked me to light it and I didn't give the occasion too much hype, but I was very visibly a complete noob, at lighting it. The guy noticed my struggle, even though I faked the panache of taking the joint to my lips, and to my displeasure he sympathetically said "You've never lit a cigarette, have you?". I wanted to protest at his false allegation, but chose to keep mum and proceeded to light the joint with the lighter, but much to my pleasure the other person sitting there suggested that I light it in the balcony as it'd get very smoky inside.

After getting aid in lighting the joint, I keenly took a few puffs, and coughed loudly soon after. My roomie said that I was doing it wrong. I dropped all my pretensions and openly asked my roomie, about how I was supposed to 'take' the joint. He said that once I took the smoke in, I needed to take a short breath through my mouth, while making the "ssssss" sound. I tried it his was and SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BIG EXPLOSION IN MY HEAD. I voluntarily stopped thinking. Another drag. "Sssss". Peace. Silence. ANOTHER EXPLOSION IN MY HEAD. I, still cynical, told myself "huh! That's nice. Heh, nothing I can't shrug off.". The flat mate took the piece and took a drag himself. I felt kinda grossed out at the lack of hygiene," Wtf! I didn't know this had to be shared!". But I gave in with a 'whatever' shrug. After a couple of drags, shares and EXPLOSIONS, I realized that I was laughing. The flatmate noticed and looked at my roommate, with a 'haha! it has started' smile. My confidence still strong, I declared.."I'm normal........haha. *Pffbbth* ". With the joint done I walked back to my room with my eyes droopier than usual. I sat up an tried watching the Tv, but I noticed that there was a giant tunnel inside me, from my lungs to my brain with an opening at my mouth. I felt I was under a giant thumb, getting pummeled into the bed. I was looking at myself in first person view, but as if  a frosted glass was in front of my eyes.

There was a pressure of sorts on my chest, as I said, I had the feeling that I was being squished into my bed by a giant thumb, but trying to retain logic, I realized that I hadn't inhaled air and my breathing was slow, deep and intense. This made me laugh. I was now laughing for nothing. Nothing at all. It was involuntary, like a twitch. My roomie laughed and said to my other roommate that "He's OUT!!". I protested, while my roommates sat grinning.

Five minutes in, I was OUTT but still thought I had THE WILL. I lay my head down and thought that I was fighting the high, but soon realized that my fight was my hallucination and was the high in itself. Upon seeing this, I relinquished 'control' and I let the giant thumb squish my rib cage to pulp. SQUEEEEZE and everything is okay. The giant thumb has vanished. But the remnants of my logical mind said to me that I had just inhaled. I let go and closed my eyes. My head was light, I thought to myself "fuck control....I'm gonna enjoy this moment!" and plugged in my earphones to play some 'Kashmir - Led Zep'
.

SQUEEEEEEEZE DID THE UNSTOPPABLE FORCE FROM THE ALMIGHTY THUMB. My mind had a mind of its own and was twisting inside my skull. My closed eyes were like my personal theater screens, showing me the most random motifs and abstract images, which all seemed old yet familiar. The riffs of Jimmy Page were making my soul twist, the bass plucks of John Paul Jones was like pebbles being dropped in the ocean in my heart that contained my soul, every drum beat by John Bonham was making me writhe in pleasure. The constant chatter of the Tv and of my roommates was annoying and I asked them to "let me be!". I was self conscious because I thought they were poking fun at my 'condition' but realized that it too was a hallucination as one was almost asleep and the other was working on his laptop. I requested them to switch off the light as it was interfering. My feet and toes too had a mind of their own and were stretching, twisting and twinging randomly at the beat of music. 

Interestingly, I noticed that whenever I opened my eyes, my high diluted and the presence of other people annoyed me because I felt I wasn't left to my own tools.

I thought I wasn't supposed to get this high and might die, but was unable to give a flying fuck, and " HAHA BITCH!" was all that I could manage to say. 3 hours passed with Led Zep and The Doors.I think I drifted to sleep with my earphones still on and woke up suddenly to the pain in my ears. Tore away the head phones and was OUTT again for the rest of the night.

Epilogue

The reason I talked about the event in the prologue was to bring to surface a, now tested, fact that although what you see is what you get, but there's more to the bounty than that your eyes let you loot.

I always had told myself that I'd smoke up in the company of someone special, preferably of an opposite gender, not because of the probability of invoking carnal intentions, but just to make the moment memorable. But yesterday was me saying "BALLS TO YOU" to myself because I didn't know that I'd like my high better in a completely opposite way, alone, just how a friend had told me, not all that long ago.

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEZE.

Sometimes you can't...

Breathe easy. \/

-Askios