If you're wondering what 'the bastard phase' means, well it's just a name I gave to a series of recurring states of callousness and mediocrity that I often experience. If I had to give an analogy, I'd say it's like a iron nail rusting away. I know I'm corroding away but I don't do anything about it. Not because I can't, but because I don't feel like. I don't really know what causes this syndrome to happen, but I do know some of the symptoms..
To give a few examples...
1. I haven't written anything AT ALL for the whole month of August, although I had some 'less than half-attempts'.
2. The fact that after point 1, all I could come up with is this self-loathsome bull shit.
3. Emptiness prevails in almost every sphere of your existence.
When I say 'emptiness', I do not mean it in that 'emo' sense, but in a sort of like a drooling vegetable way. I found faults but I couldn't care less. I lied. I stole. I traded friends with, indifference. I pretended to be something that never existed. All this without consequence.
....but...
as always there's always that silver lining..
I treaded over music heaven, and found that fabled ephemeral high sans the trigger and made her mine forever.
The sheer fact of me acknowledging that right now, I'm writing like an effing retard, yet charging on, gives me a speck of hope that I'll resuscitate that something, that made me pick up a pen and write stuff down.
After all, I have Led Zeppelin as my saviors.
Lets bring this mama back to life!
Fuck yes!
- Askios
To give a few examples...
1. I haven't written anything AT ALL for the whole month of August, although I had some 'less than half-attempts'.
2. The fact that after point 1, all I could come up with is this self-loathsome bull shit.
3. Emptiness prevails in almost every sphere of your existence.
When I say 'emptiness', I do not mean it in that 'emo' sense, but in a sort of like a drooling vegetable way. I found faults but I couldn't care less. I lied. I stole. I traded friends with, indifference. I pretended to be something that never existed. All this without consequence.
....but...
as always there's always that silver lining..
I treaded over music heaven, and found that fabled ephemeral high sans the trigger and made her mine forever.
The sheer fact of me acknowledging that right now, I'm writing like an effing retard, yet charging on, gives me a speck of hope that I'll resuscitate that something, that made me pick up a pen and write stuff down.
After all, I have Led Zeppelin as my saviors.
Lets bring this mama back to life!
Fuck yes!
- Askios
The clueless bastard phase. The pointless, unproductive time you have no idea where you're headed. Been there done that :P. Like a sir!
ReplyDeleteTrue! :D
DeleteThis phase requires clueless music.
ReplyDelete"OOPA Gangnam Style" by PSY.
Man, I couldn't stand the first 10 seconds of that song. x.X
DeleteIt's such complete shit, right? Just like my mood right now.
DeleteGoddamnit. Write some more, will ya!
ReplyDelete