Emberous

I stoked the embers of my mind, with the fan of paranoia. I found no reason not to. I gave away rationale as oblation and in turn, in that raging fire of tumult, I broke the shackles of sanity and breached the upper crest of my sky.
Looking back down, I saw the gored carcass of clichéd liberation surrounded by townsfolk pontificating and opining on how what was and what should have been. Oh how I wish I could show them what I see. How the sword dangling overhead, dances to my tune when I tug at the fine silk holding it steady. How I could lick its poisoned tip a thousand times and each time find a new crevice in the blade.
No time to hesitate now, my skies are already broken, the emberous flames are at their peak and I cast a reflection that's already aching and fading away. The festival of strings is set to start any moment now and like being born, it signals the march towards the end of times. I must steal everything there is to be revealed, in the wake of  an epiphany whilst the misty Luna looks at me from an un-rationalized direction, treading along further exploring this fiefdom of lunacy. Who else has been here? I see footsteps falling, but am unable to define a figure. Ah! Another epiphany is in the offing. There are no such things like 'definitions', 'characteristics' and 'rationale' in this Kingdom. What my mind tells me materializes ahead while whatever my brain observes only causes aberrations. But, who is reading these epiphanies? It can't be my mind, because I've already breached its walls. Or maybe I think I have. What is on the outside of this giant unhinged blue roof? Where am I ?

Intravenous Drums and Bass.

I had a month ago, bought myself a Nokia Lumia 520, an upgrade from the Samsung Corby Touch. Prime reason being was the fact that Google had sent a notification to all Java OS users that it would stop supporting the email app for the phone with the above mentioned OS. There were a lot of things I assumed, I would benefit from by upgrading. Like access to 3G and a the renowned audio quality of Nokia.All said and done, I got my set...fiddled around the functionalities et al, and then turned to the music. Looking at the ear phones, I instantly knew they were substandard, but had that small hope of being wrong. Migrated all of my Led Zep collection into my new phone and pressed play. 

OH MY FUCKING GOD! THE SOUND WAS SO FUCKING HORRIBLE! NO BASS! NO TREBLE! JUST MONOTONES! I'm no audio connoisseur but I can tell the difference between a song having bass and one that just wails into your head. Even the broken radio that the poor unfortunate ones play have better audio quality than this junk, I thought. I tried to think rationally, no way Nokia can do this. The earphones HAVE to be the reason for this pain.

 I had imposed this rule on myself that whenever I was listening to the Led , I'd listen to the whole song and never EVER cut it short. But this time I thought to myself...that this was blasphemy, that soul of Drums and Bass was completely replaced by a cold heartless void; and letting the song play on, on this phone would be like soiling something sacrosanct. I had to bite the bullet and just STOP the song. I tried to feel positive when I ordered the SkullCandy ear phones, replacing the other wail mongers, but no luck. I was rudely awoken to the fact that the Audio innately was horrible, which resulted to; me cutting myself off music completely. If Led can't make it to my ears...nothing else will. In exile.. I found myself the most lonesome and the most calloused as if my life force was soaked up by the sponge of unwanted rationality and then squeezed into the river of apathy. Churning my innards for a month up until a few moments ago...I decided to re-invoke my old Corby with a much much MUCH superior sound quality. It shall be my companion for all the things that make me-me. 

Never again. FUCK you Nokia. 

-Askios

What she taught me....

In your silence I shall speak.

In your dreams you'd hear me weep.

In your pain, your wisdom I'll groom,

so long you suffer me, your skies will bloom.

Woooooooooowieeee!!!!

Been a long time hasn't it? I'm not gonna waste time apologizing! I've been frigging busy/apathetic!
So, straight to work shall we.....!!!

My Friend of Misery

My Friend of misery, 

I like it when you cry.

For in your sorrow lies my peace,

watching your tears roll by.

O' my friend of misery,

your joy lies in chains,

held in the abyss of melancholy,

forged in the fires of my purpose-your pain.

Dearest friend of misery,

do accept my embrace.

My solace is that of lies,

my heart beats within a crystal case.

Seeking serenity, my friend of misery,

you pursue the light.

Unaware of your eternal companion,

the vector of blight.

I am your hex my miserable friend,

your misery is my feast,

in your suffering my purpose lies,

whilst with folded hands, you beseech the East.

Take heart, my fallen companion,

the Reaper shall soon, His summons send.

For only in your afterlife,

shall our companionship end.

- Askios

(After a very long time

22-Nov-2013, 12.00 AM)

Quid pro quo.

I wished .... I wished so hard for the prize.....
I razed and stomped to get it....and now that I have it......turns out, it wasn't worth it at all.
So what they say was true.....you can't have everything your way.
Fuck this.

Four months to this day.

As she awaits in her earnest breath,

the chaos awakened Suns to set,

her starry eyes recite a dream,

in silent moonlights, of treasures unseen.

The poetry in her smile, drew a heave,

in the shadows of her heart, did she some magic weave?

Expanding minds of nurturing trait,

enlivening divinity of her slender gait.

On a wish afloat, she dived in deep,
Of simple pleasures and her beauty sleep.
Unburdened, unaware and out of her way.
aiding the ones fallen astray.

'Tis her charm that wooed my heart.
gifted innocence, values steadfast.
 Unequaled zest, she's beyond compare,
for even the Sun's glory has spots to spare.

Beyond the sights of common men,
while my mind still twists and bends,
For Sam, my soul I would rend
and so this verse now would end.

-Askios
(Started somewhere around Jan '13, ended in July '13.)

Canvas

Welcome to me. You are free here. 
Pick any color you like and spill your heart out.
Fill me up. Show me your soul.
What color is it? Is it bright red like Passion or does it look icy blue,
like the whole essence of Skaði herself?
Tell me what tinge do your fantasies burn with?
What color do I paint your mind?

Just point your color stained fingers at me and let me guide your hand.
Lets take a trip through that murky head of your's, and then paint it a greenish gray,
like a freshly fallen leaf losing its existence to a muddy pond. Like stirring a puddle with your hands,
and watching its innards twist in turmoil.

And then when we're done talking, I shall part ways with you -- forever in silence. 
Only to remain as a cold and dry reminder of how you trusted me with your lifelong secrets,
and I showed them to anyone who looked knowing that our pact would still remain sacrosanct,
because nobody other than me would truly see the chaotic splashes of your paranoia and uncertainties,
or the smudges of blood from stained hands underneath all those elegant strokes of success and glory.

High Tides: Dented

Of twists and turns, the fates unfold.
Glacial breeze of lives foretold.
Twist me, churn me
Wring me from my withering soul.
Born unto a fate, squeeze me cold.
For the poetry is lost, the essence sold.
Trapped in a symmetry, trips of the old
Featureless fantasies fallacies behold.
Dented and hollowed, remorse aholds.


Sorry.

Destined.

You! You are with me....you and I shall share the same fate.
We were both Led into this causality.
I arrived before you did.
I sculpted you.
And I will annihilate us together.
Together we shall carve out our existence,
and together we shall wear ourselves out.
The permanence of our coupling shall remain unbroken.
You will always be from me.
And I will always remain for you.

In tears.

I wish to immortalize your words Sam....they have me in tears whenever I read them...love you!

....With these words of brilliance in your hands,

may glory shine  upon you,

and in that moment of pride,

may a faint memory surround you,

And when they ask you who made you smile,

may you think of those precious lines......

"I was her love and she was my Queen,  

and now a thousand years between".......

I cannot begin to express how deep into my core these lines reach..real lucky to be a part of your life and have you in mine. It's been unbelievable. Thank you....from the deepest darkest corners of my heart! 

Kash (K. ush.)

Ek kash ki zindagi
do, boond paani.
Toote hue sapne
Dil ki zubani.


Enjaiy.

Abyss

I fell into the worst infinite loop, that there could be. Now how I wither is to be seen. What possibilities remain unfulfilled and what was and could never have been may remain just that...questions unanswered.

BullShit!

The ineffable, the parallel & the letting go.

Tools of the trade.

Ever been on a trip? That completely different paradigm of an alternate experience..looking at the world in a completely new way. Breaking down structures into philosophies, and life into an abstract image of colorful circles and dots, of lonely landscapes and vivid skies. I wouldn't agree that such a feeling would've been named as a 'trip' by accident...it does take you places you\never knew existed, yet which were right there behind your eyes.

Ah, eyes.....my friends and enemies of the past. It doesn't take much effort to understand the fact that what you see is much less than what you could get. Just close your eyes and tell yourself what you see...once you get a hang of it, you'll surprise yourself. I always find this activity to be a perfect companion on journeys to places, be it long or otherwise. I would just close my eyes and get comfortable for the show. Some think that  I'm praying, while most think that I haven't slept the previous night, which I find it a little depressing because although everyone has immense potential to be parallel at whim, most of them would go through their entire lives being completely oblivious to it.

It sometimes feels that ignorance is the mastermind, driving the abyssal reality.

Heed my call, take the plunge and you shall find,

Reality is illusive, societal structures forced upon the mind.

Trip easy my friend.

-Askios

3.E

It all seems to be different these days. What changed? Led Zepplin sounds the same...DotA feels the same...WHAT CHANGED!?

Lesser.

What inspires, Ro?

Need that split second spark to know.

I see her in my breath,

slowly wafting to my mind,

the easiest hope you may never find.

 She urges me, to try some more,

till the path's blurry and I know where to go.

With an ease her prophecies lie,

holding my hand, looking me in the eye.

Oh but she never leaves, you have to know.

Drag her , rend her, whatever you try.

Lit like a phoenix she's here to stay,

for even in ash, she never goes away.

You and I, of a common lot,

where lies the end of untangled knots,

Blind stars of fortune, heed our way,

to whatever end, glory or dismay.

This day was foretold by the wise of the past,

hold no grudge, stand steadfast.

In one hand lies her ember of false bliss,

doused in lust, an enchanting kiss.

And the other one holds the hope of better,

between you and I, she's the lesser.

-Askios

(10-Feb-2013, 12.00 a.m.)

Featuring: The End - The Doors

This is the end

Beautiful friend

This is the end

My only friend, the end

Of our elaborate plans, the end

Of everything that stands, the end

No safety or surprise, the end

I'll never look into your eyes...again

Can you picture what will be

So limitless and free

Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand

In a...desperate land

Lost in a Roman...wilderness of pain

And all the children are insane

All the children are insane

......

This is the end

Beautiful friend
This is the end

My only friend, the end

It hurts to set you free

But you'll never follow me

The end of laughter and soft lies

The end of nights we tried to die

This is the end

Gifted.

Aesthetics only.

Eons ago, there was quote I read in a newspaper article that remained etched in my memory.
It went something like this..

"Sometimes there would be a rush of noisy visitors and the silence of the monastery would be shattered. This would upset the disciples; not the Master, who seemed just as content with the noise as with the silence. To his protesting disciples he said one day, "Silence is not the absence of sound, but the absence of self".

Something similar ran through my mind last Friday while I was waiting for my train back to Bangalore, from Chennai. Surprisingly, I reached the station rather early and quickly to my dismay it started raining. Running for cover I quickly scanned the train listings and walked towards the designated platform. It was the usual huge crowd, noise and the smell of fish. I looked at my watch and realised that I was one and a half hour early! "Lord have mercy on my legs" was my first thought.

I walked along the platform, to get some coffee and while I was at it, I noticed this group of ten or twelve folks, probably in their mid 40s. There were folks from all walks of life and from different parts of India. They all seemed well to-do and everyone had a glowing smile on their face. They seemed of the chirpy,  happy-go-lucky sort, having a great and the most animated conversation ever. They were all a group of mute folk and one of them  was gifted with something better than sight. (I hate the term 'mute', but for the lack of a better word, kindly bear with me.). I walked a little for a closer look to see Sign language in practise, and immediately I was blown away and stood dumbfounded in awe.
Watching hands effortlessly working in an artistic precision, and faces expressing the emotions like never before, was like looking at magic woven by the Human spirit, in action.

I couldn't understand a bit of their conversation, all I could read was their emotions. I saw joy, shock, gossip, horsing around, and playful joking. The whole aura around that group was captivating, with ZERO sound, yet with a flowing conversation. I directed my focus towards the tall, mute and visually challenged (again...sorry!) person. He was a significant part of the conversation too! Whenever someone had to speak to him, they'd grab his hands and make signs, which he could effortlessly interpret and reply to, using the same means. Whats more, he could hold a conversation with two people, simultaneously! How many of us "Gifted" people can do that? I sure as hell can't.
One might think that's where the amazement ended, and couldn't be more wrong. Another thing that really got my mind blown with awe was when the folks could seamlessly join a private conversation going on between a few people. They seemed to instantly know what the others were talking about with their signs, and joined their conversation, as if they were there all along! Again, how many of us "Gifted" lot can do that ? We'd make a fool of ourselves, asking stupid questions about what people were talking about.

I spent a good hour just looking at them, till I noticed a lady, from the group looking at me with inquisitive eyes, probably asking.."What are you looking at, Mister?!". By then a small discreet crowd had gathered around them, all held in awe. I walked a little back, so as to not seem rude to the group, and casually strolled  around coming back, time to time just to feel what a conversation without the presence of sound, felt like.
To be honest, I felt a tad privileged and humbled, to be a witness to this sight. To see how flexible and generous Life can be, to give one the option to walk around a mountain, if one can't climb it, and with..

ABSOLUTELY NO SOUND!!!!!!!

Breathe Easy. \/
-Askios

High Tides: Ethereal

The real ethereal..

Presence of a ghost.

A silent host..

A chill wind blown down a soul.

A spectral presence,

down the funeral home.

Surreal wish, but of nothing, mere ethereal.

A sweet dagger thrusted inside,

the gentle hands of a seductress, heavenly reside

A wish of lust and yet nothing, 

but of mere ethereal....

Figures of absence,
and the strength of steel.
First, wisps of real,
then sullen ethereal.
Heathen presence of the pasts conceal,
a morsel of truth,  the rest ethereal.

Into the light, I humbly stand,
with a bow of the head, a wish in my hand.
A wish, to once and forever reveal..
Truth is throughout unreal,
all is but One....Ethereal.

-Askios

P.S.: Very fond of that word 'ethereal'. Again, dunno when I wrote this. Got high, that word came to mind and everything else was .....ETHEREAL.

High Tides: Trip through a mirchi

('Mirchi' is the hindi word for 'Chillies/Pepper'.)

A trip through a mirchi,

a bite she does,

an invisible buzz.

Secretly,

a trip through a mirchi.

A pain in bliss,

a vengeful hiss.

A sweet and sour cut,

she burns my effigy.

A high moon tide,

an infernal ride,
her spectral synergy,

a trip through a mirchi.

A devilrous curse,

a poisoned hearse,

ancient poetic verse,

a psalmic energy,

my trip through a mirchi.

Soul searing lava,

my life through java.

Requisite Fire,

that abridged much higher,

you stroll my syllable 'E'

my trip through a mirchi.

As you now fade,

to an immense serenade,

I bind my devilry,

it's a trip through a mirchi,

a fine trip through a mirchi.

A poisonous form,

in the physical form of a mercurial banshee,

of a diligent scythe,

an ominous  vibe,

eternal riff yet a subliminal rife,

a trip through a mirchi.

-Askios

P.S.:Dunno when I wrote this. I was high and decided to chow down on a chilly/pepper and that somehow amplified the trip..thus the name.